Putting words to grief only makes them fall short.
Grief can’t be explained nor fully understood.
She is an uninvited guest that we are forced to let into the homes of our souls. She floods every room — drowning us in our most honest moments.
There are words I still wanted to say.
There are memories I still wanted to make.
But we are only given today.
Peace is hard to find because the wrestling in my soul knows grief was not intended to take up residence here.
The world is broken.
Loss is real.
Pain cuts deeply.
The weightiness of the fall is soul-crushing. I cry out,
“IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!”
My soul knows the Truth. Something is deeply wrong with the world.
And I can’t fix it.
I think. I breathe. I tell myself all the right things, but the wrestling in my soul remains.
Peace comes not from understanding but from the One person who understands everything. He is sitting with me and yet I’m talking to myself.
He is gentle towards me. He understands me. He knows my pain all too well. He knows the beginning and the end. He is the only One who can give me peace.
He came for this reason.
He came for my grief.
He came to be with me.
To restore brokenness.
Our souls know the world is broken. The disconnect comes when we want to pretend it’s not.
We don’t want to call brokenness what it is — another word for sin. We don’t fully understand what sin means and what the word encompasses. Grief is a reminder of our present state of being. Sin was birthed inside the garden of Eden. It began with a decision that positioned us for eternal separation. Holy and good and perfect changed to pain and grief and strife.
A great chasm created an ache in our souls that we want to deny but we can’t ignore.
But God so loved the World.
He didn’t leave us in our sin.
He came to us.
He gave His life for us.
He conquered death.
Our souls know the significance of the Gospel when grief comes to visit.
So I don’t have to be afraid when grief comes knocking because she will always point me back to the cross.
Jesus is the bridge that stands in the gap of my gaping heart.
His life, His death & His resurrection — this is WHY He came. To restore – to forgive – to draw near – to save – to be our hope in a hopeless world.
The Good News is real. And my soul knows it.
In this moment, sitting in Truth, my wrestling ceases. And peace finally comes.
Sadness mixed with thankfulness and joy all wrapped into one.
A feeling, a-knowing — that can’t be captured into words.
The Gospel offers me hope for today.
And today is all I’m given.
This post is inspired by the loving memory of my Grandmother who would have celebrated her 100th birthday this week.