After I wrote my last post I came across the following journal entry I wrote 3 years ago. By no coincidence, I had written about life’s secret antidote which is giving thanks. This is so HUGE and has dramatically altered my life and my perspective.
For more than a decade, I have clung to this truth and the scriptures that are infused with thanks and praise. Let’s not miss it. Let’s put it on repeat. Especially at this time of year, with “Thanksgiving” right around the corner.
Here’s the context and background on what’s below::
The Summer of 2012, that led into the Fall, did not look like vacations and lazy days. We were in crisis. My oldest son, Drew, was 6 years old at the time and was having upwards of 3 seizures a day while ON medication for epilepsy. He was also having unusual eye twitches at all times of the day. So we didn’t know if he was having additional seizures to the ones we were certain of.
Everything felt out of control. I was juggling the needs of my nursing 10-month old baby and while chasing around a busy 3 year old, on top of watching my-Drew seize over and over again without being able to do anything about it.
With the help of his Nuerologist and Dietician we abruptly launched into the Ketogenic Diet. We immediately saw some improvement but his seizures kept coming and nothing felt stable. We were swimming upstream but God was with us. Gently leading the way as we took each day’s worries for it’s own.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Sufficient for the day is it’s own trouble. {Matthew 6:34}
When I sit here gazing at God’s beautiful creation. I forget. I see beauty. I am thankful. The crickets, the birds, the sound of the water, the beautiful sky with wispy clouds painted in it. A fisherman patiently waiting for a bite casting his lines, kayaks quietly making their way across the lake.
Then in the far off background I hear planes flying over head, and I faintly see cars whizzing back and forth across the bridge. The world around me busy and in a hurry. But at last,
I am still
quiet and peaceful.
God has always spoken to me through nature. When I feel that tug to get away, He always pulls me to His side through creation…..in landscapes, trees, forests, mountains, rivers, lakes and the ocean.
I miss the scenery of my college days, living in the Shenandoah Valley. The mountains painted my daily backdrop and the Blue Ridge Parkway was just up the road.
I’m thankful I live close enough to drive to the mountains or the beach but they are not within view. I’ve been searching for my spot, my resting place within reach. I think I’ve found it, this. A National Park on the Lake. Where nature and water meet. My newly found safe-haven.
God, thank you. Thank you for this perfect spot over looking the lake. And as I glance over my shoulder, I get-to gaze deep into the mystery of the forest outlining the lake. Thank you for the sun shining directly on me. Warming my skin and giving me hope for brighter days to come.
I feel like I have been bobbing up and down in the water. Feeling like I’m about to drown one moment and then catching my breath the next.
I want to keep perspective. We live in America, we are free, we have good health care, and my son is fully engaged with life, even with all his special needs. He IS Okay. Even if he has epilepsy all his life, he will be okay. He sits in the palm of Your hand.
Forgive me, O God, for all my worrying and fretting.
You are God and I am not.
I don’t have the answers. You do.
This is what you tell me to do…..
Walk before me in faithfulness with all your heart and
with all your soul and you shall not be lacking. {1 Kings 2:4}
Faithfulness = Trusting
I will trust in You.
I will trust
in
You.
Trust leads to my thanks-giving. It’s almost the precursor to praise. But if I’m struggling to trust you, God, once I give thanks I find myself somehow able to trust again.
.
Giving-Thanks is the act of centering everything around God and not Me.
Thanks-giving is a verb. It is my call to action. When I SO desire control, I can give thanks because God is already in control. God, you ask me to be faithful – to trust – and at the end of the day, I’m thankful it’s You who’s in control and not me.
Giving Thanks IN ALL THINGS, is the secret antidote
I’m thankful God, for how epilepsy has opened my eyes to how Me-or Us- centered I think and live.
Giving-Thanks changes::
My focus. From Me to YOU, God.
My perspective. From seeing only what’s in front of me to Looking UP — BEYOND — seeing Big-Picture.
Thankfulness is how God breathes life back into me when I feel breathless.
What does it look like for You to Give Thanks today?
As many of you know in April 2015 Drew’s most recent test results showed he no longer has epilepsy. He is healed. May You, God get all the glory.