Praying in a Culture that Craves Control

Epilepsy walked through the front door of our lives when my son, Drew, was just four years old. A life altering diagnosis took up residence in our home and we found ourselves sitting face to face with fear.

Friend, when a seizure sets in there is nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is watch and wait while you feel helplessly out of control. When it’s happening to your own child your heart literally leaps out of your skin begging it to stop. And yet, it was those terrifying out-of-control-feeling moments that God used to open up my eyes, to see the truth. To see the truth I already knew but didn’t fully believe.

The truth that control is just a facade.

He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things;

and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth,

having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation,

that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him,

though He is not far from each one of us;

for in Him we live and move and exist.

Acts 17:25-28

The deception of control

We all crave control but when we grab ahold of it, it slips right through our fingers like sand.

Control in our culture isn’t always obvious. In fact, control prefers to disguise himself behind more noble names. For example, most of us believe that success comes from hard work and making good choices. But when those things are elevated above the mysterious workings of God’s grace, good choices and hard work just become other names for control.

We miss the mark ever so slightly and yet completely.

Without realizing it, we find ourselves preaching a gospel of good choices rather than the gospel of good news.

We put our hope in the health of our marriage, in healthy children, in the success of our careers, in the extent of our education, in how we parent, in how we school our children, in how we exercise, in how we eat and the list goes on and on. We think we’ve found the answer, the best way, the right approach, or the right niche. But what do all these things have in common?

M-e.

When we are depending on ourselves to make-it-happen, eventually, our souls will grow weary. And when a trial comes like a health diagnosis, a financial struggle, a move, a job change or a difficult circumstance then we will know.

We will know what we knew all along but didn’t fully believe.

The truth that control is just a facade.

Control is our biggest obstacle to prayer

In those first two years of Drew’s diagnosis, Andrew and I wrestled with how we should pray. And we struggled with praying consistently. {1 Thess. 5: 17}

We’d cry out to God one day and then fall silent and numb the next. The struggle of releasing control and embracing the unknown of our son’s future was a back and forth battle.

But God kept beckoning us to come – to come to the well of living water that never runs dry. Like the Samaritan woman at the well, we eventually let our guard down and stood completely vulnerable before the Lord. {John 4}

While we were busy trying to figure out what we should do, we forgot what God could do.

God brings life from death. {John 5:24}

God binds up the wounds of the brokenhearted. {Psalm 147:3}

God heals the sick. {Luke 4:40}

The gospel is about what he can do, not about what we can do.

So after two years of wading knee deep in the murky waters of a life altering diagnosis. We stepped out in faith believing in what our eyes could not see {Hebrews 11:1}, while knowing there were no guarantees for our son’s future.

Together, Andrew and I, wholeheartedly decided to pray purposefully and consistently.

We started gathering our growing family every night in our living room for the sole purpose of prayer. We made our prayer time fun and tried to one-up each other with our elaborate prayers. We looked forward to it and anticipated it, we rarely missed a night for three consecutive years. From the time each one of our littles could talk, he or she was praying.

Friend, healing didn’t come overnight and it didn’t come without pain and suffering, but God answered our prayers. After five years of living with epilepsy, God showed our unwanted guest the door.

Prayer, however, has remained. As my family and I continue to walk through everyday trials and joys, prayer continually reminds us who’s in control.

Pausing long enough to pray

Do you want to pray more?

Author and pastor, Matt Chandler, says, “We learn to pray by praying.”

You can begin praying right in the middle of your everyday life. On the way to school, on your way to work, at your breakfast table, in your living room, while you’re folding laundry, while you’re nursing your baby, or while you’re putting out yet another sibling fight.

In the middle of the ordinary rhythms of life, full of mess and stress, we can pause and pray.

When we pause long enough to pray, a gospel-shift happens that can only be explained by the mysterious workings of God’s grace. Prayer somehow loosens our tight grip on control and points everything back to God.

Prayer helps me fully believe what I already know to be true, that God is in control and I am not.